To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart

When I left Don and returned to my parents house it was because I felt like I was suffocating. I didn't do anything alone. Someone was always there, I felt like I was losing the "real" me, as I never had alone tine to express the true to me at that time me. Though leaving was a really hard decision, it was beneficial in the long run. 

It allowed me to see who really loved me and supported me and who just wanted to direct me for their own benefit,

I mean I had made plenty of decisions about my life up to this point and none of them were satisfactory, My place in life didn't line up with how those people viewed me, and they tried to stuff me into those boxes they had created in their minds.

Unfortunately for them I wasn't"t going to be stuffed into anyone's box again. I thought I was being suffocated but I was evolving. I was refusing to come to terms with where my life was at, and I tried to run away from it only to realize I was exactly where I was supposed to be with the people I was supposed to be with. I realized I really had been being true to myself, but I was burdened with the sadness of letting go of my safety net and my past relationships. These feelings largely stemmed from the fact, and lets's be honest, nobody liked Don. Everyone thought he was brainwashing me or holding me captive or getting me high out of my mind so I was disconnected with reality, Whatever it is they thought.

Their reality is not my reality.

I apparently still have very strong negative feelings towards this situation and time period in my life as I'm currently having to actively work at not rage typing. And the fact I've already made one post about this time and feel the need to delve into it again.

SO AFTER ALL THAT UNPLEASANTNESS.
I realized I did really want Don, and not "just for now" or "whatever's convenient and appealing". I realized he was my actual support system, my emotional one. My be there for you no matter what because I take care of you, you take care of me. No caveats, no demands for something I was incapable of giving at any given time.

We're in the spring of 2013.
Don  and I take a road trip to Texas to pick up his dad. We find a really cool truck stop on the Oklahoma turnpike. I come to realize I don't really like either of Dons parents just the same way he doesn't like mine. 

We also go to lazerfest in May. 

Fall 2013

I've decided to go back to college for Administrative Assisting.
Don gets fired from Winegard for some bullshit excuse after all the other things they let him get away with.

I take classes in keyboarding, business english and math, document creation and sociology.
Don gets a job in Wapello working at a office cubicle factory.

I kick butt on my first semester back at college.

We loved our lives and lived them to the fullest. We chased our dreams together and tried to make ends meet in the real world. We supported each other and lived in companionship. 

I don't have a lot of pictures from this time period. I was too busy just living my life and due to the ending of many relationships I just didn't care to have constant connection to the internet and people that didn't make the effort to be part of my every day life. I didn't use technology to record my life and I didn't correspond with people outside of my daily life. But I still made new friends and lasting connections. I journaled more and took care of kids and went to school and did homework and housework and all the planning that's required to make things run smoothly and everything seemed to be going great. And I mean it was, but then it really really wasn't.